The Loch Ness Giraffe

And you can too!

I went for a swim in Scotland today
It wasn’t an ocean, it wasn’t a bay
The water had blued and the tourists had strayed
And somehow the world it had turned

Nessie was gone, so far gone, she had gone
No one had seen her, on water or lawn
For centuries now she had refused to spawn
And the profits of mystery had spurned

And there in that drink, where the water don’t stink
Where the blue and green have all turned to fine mink
Where every old Brit and old Yank seek their link
The Mysteries of Old lose what’s earned

But leaving my boat, for that moat, out afloat
Where Channels they roam like great geese or a goat
I met a Canadienne who told the whole about
And why the fiasco’d been durned

Dinosaurs don’t sell, not so well, gone to Hell
The tourists they come, but drop pennies in the well
They’ve Spielberg’s wild fare; it’s more reel than this spell
So the whole Kit Kaboodle’s been adjourned

Besides, all the ghosts, of the beast spread on toasts
Nobody’s buying, the whole tale, it just roasts
There’s much warmer waters, on half yonder’s coasts
And the school books on Nessie aren’t learned

So I, a fanatic, would simply not have it,
And I gladly jumped into that creek
Saying fond toodledoos, waved goodbye my waterloos,
Wearing finest of gear I did seek

I burrowed those waters, scorning Uncles and Daughters,
Determined to uncove a creature
Imagine my surprise, when I turned head and eyes,
And discovered a much different feature

It wasn’t a dragon, nor a Dactyl, or behemoth,
It was nothing to smirk at or laugh
It was oddly Afrikanus, and mildly out of order,
Well…

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