I Have No Fucking Idea Why I Run Everyday

I am thirty years old, weigh less than 140 pounds and smoke a pack of Newport a day. I eat healthy until it becomes easier to demolish a doughnut in true savage fashion than it is to make a protein shake.

For the majority of my life, my hobbies only included drinking and doing drugs. An actual doctor once told me I had the lungs of an 82 year old, one who smoked to be exact.

One day last year I started going for morning and afternoon walks after reading about the benefits doing such can have on both the body and mind.

Those walks became extremely monotonous and at some point I got tired of watching guys who were twice my age as well as more than double my weight run by me.

To be completely clear, I used to see people jogging and genuinely ask myself why they bothered. What was the point?

Well, I have been running for the better part of 16 months and I still have not come up with a precise or logical answer I can put into words.

I have heard others speak of this mythical and elusive runners high, I’ve never experienced it. Perhaps it was all the ecstasy I did in high school.

I ran six miles in under an hour last week and hated every second of it. It physically fucking hurt. Then I got up before the sun did the next day and did it again. I just don’t know why and Simon Sinek isn’t accepting that as an answer.

Am I healthier than I was before I started? No doubt I am.

Do I always feel better or healthier than I did before I took this hobby up? No, I really don’t if I’m just keeping it a hundred, as the kids say.

Here are the things I enjoy about running and why I continue to do it:

I love zoning out with headphones on and ignoring everyone and everything else going on around me. I love pushing myself to beyond exhaustion, to past the point of slightly uncomfortable, straight through the pain.

I love each and every under appreciated house wife who jogs past me in yoga pants, who pretends they don’t know how good they look in said yoga pants. Even the ones who pretend I don’t exist when I smile or nod as our paths cross. You are the real MVP’s. I wouldn’t smile back at me either.

I love going on morning runs but I think I’m more in love with the morning part of it then the running end of it. Nothing beats having ran five miles before most people you know have so much as gotten out of bed.

I like posting my running stats and pictures of cool things I came across on my runs to Instagram and Facebook. Because honestly, if you don’t share proof of your workout on social media, did it even happen?

I don’t go running to lose weight, I have no fear of heart disease and have absolutely no desire to live until i’m ninety. For the love of God, have you ever met a ninety year old? Bless their kindred hearts but I don’t want to be one of them.

I don’t know why I go running. I just know I’m going running. Now and then again tomorrow morning. Without any real rhyme or reason, it’s just become who I am and what I do.

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